Three months of catching up

Just realised that I haven't posted for ages and ages.  It has been a strange few months since I posted at the beginning of August, two days before I started radiotherapy.  The two months of treatment which followed were probably the worst of my life.  Initially the radiotherapy was not a problem apart from feeling tired from travelling for one and a half hours each day by taxi to the Clinic.  

Then I developed burns which, I later read in a letters from Dr Lamazec at the Clinic to my GP copies of which were given to me, were third degree burns.  At some point the burns were deemed too bad for me to continue the treatment and I had a break.  My morphine was increased weekly and my nausea increased at the same rate.  I was almost unable/unwilling to eat anything.  I lost ten kilos in those ten weeks.  I was tired, so tired but couldn't sleep properly.  Profuse bleeding was treated with tablets, but nothing stopped the lack of energy, the inability to do the simplest task without being exhausted and my emotional reaction to everything - a bit like being hormonal and pregnant.  

Eventually the radiotherapy was started again and with it came more third degree burns. These were so painful that no creams or lotions did the trick.  I had a nurse coming in daily to clean and dress my wounds.  The padded dressings were a huge relief, the smell of dead skin and healing was awful.  For about three weeks I was unable to sit, eventually I had a lying down ambulance to take me to the Clinic as I couldn't sit, even reclined, for long enough in the taxi.    

Looking back now, it's hard to imagine how bad it was.  I never want to go through that again.  I will see the referring Consultant on 5 January and then in April I will have a Petscan followed by an appointment with Dr Lamazec.  The reason for the delay is that apparently the treatment carries on working long after it stops and they want a precise result when they do the scan.   Dr Lamazec has physically examined me and says he feels very positive, so I'm hoping for a good news birthday present in April.  What I do know is that I will never go through radiotherapy again, it was far too traumatic, especially when living alone.

I have been extremely lucky this summer though.  I have had almost constant Workaways and/or Housesitters helping me out with only about three weeks when I have had to look after the animals and veggies on my own.  They have all been wonderful and kind and I am very grateful to them all.  I certainly couldn't have coped without them and all the work they've done for me.

Libby and Charlie came over in August and Oli, Emma and Mia stayed in September.  So all the children and grandchildren have been over this year which has been lovely.

I couldn't go back for my usual early October visit to the UK as I wasn't well enough. However on 30 October I had to return as I'd serious toothache and my dentist in Cornwall is the only person I trust to deal with me.  A friend's husband drove me there and back as I was too weak to be in control of the steering wheel for that long journey. I stayed with Matthew in his new house and he even gave up his ensuite room for me to be really comfortable. 

Since I've been back home in St André I've felt much better.  I did bring back a cold I caught from Matthew, but all the effects of the radiation have now disappeared thank goodness.  I did have trouble coming off the morphine and had to be given another drug to take the edge off, but finally have weaned myself off that medication too and feel back to normal again, thank goodness.

I had a brilliant first time back at bowls for ages and ages last week and was, unbelievably, runner up in the final of a club competition.  I've never played so well - perhaps it was all that radiation! - and will have a trophy to display and dust once I'm presented with it.

No photos this time, just catching up and getting back to normal.

Three things I like:

1.   Feeling like me again, with energy and colour in my cheeks, being able to eat, sit and drive, simple things that I have always taken for granted.

2.   The kindness and support I have had from so many different sources.

3.   I've written all my Christmas Cards!